Past Life Car Thief

Separated at Birth?

I’ve been so lazy lately, I really need to get my ass in gear and get some stuff done around the house. We took apart the little lass’s bunk bed last weekend because it takes up too much of her bedroom and so I took the top bunk and put it in my room since I’ve been sleeping on the same sorry ass futon that is really uncomfortable for the past 3 years. Ex#2 used to have this futon in his living room in Milwaukee when I first met him when I was 28!!! Holy shit I just realized that. And he had already owned it for awhile at that point. We did buy a new mattress for it when we moved here but that was still what, 6 years ago? Good lord.

Anyway, I put the futon in the couch position and put that in LL’s room so she can sit there when she’s doing homework or whatever.  Her room looks a lot better now but there is still some serious organizing that needs to be done. Which brings us back to me being lazy! The more I work here at home the more I want to move. This place is just TINY! Even after I finish organizing stuff we will still be cramped for space. I really really hope we can get into a house at the beginning of next year. There’s a really cute house for rent right next to LL’s school that would be perfect. I would really like to move back into that neighborhood. I like where we’re located in town because we’re next to a gigantic park, but it would be cool to live near her school and not have to drive her back and forth. The only drawback to moving back into that neighborhood is that ex #2 still lives there and that would really annoy me to see him walking our dog or driving around lol. Yes that’s stupid but true.

Speaking of the little lass…she has been having a REALLY hard time adjusting to being back here with me after being with her Dad. Moreso than she ever has in the past 6 years. I feel bad for her. Her best friend Victor from school last year moved over the Summer and she really misses him because they were supposed to be in the same class again this year. It’s gotten to the point where her Dad and I have discussed her going to school back in Utah for the year. Obviously, this would fucking KILL me if we went through with it because she is my entire world! But I also want to do what’s best for her and have her be happy. I think at this point in time she has decided to stick it out but we are discussing her going to school there next year if things don’t improve. I don’t know, we’ll see. I just love her so much it hurts so bad to see her crying about which parent she should live with. I never wanted things to be that way for her but I guess it’s unavoidable in some cases. I know she loves us both so much. I think what she likes about being with her Dad is that he has a lot of extended family around. She has the twins at her grandma’s place, her grandma, her aunt and about 50 cousins around her age. When she’s here it’s just me and I make her do homework and clean her room. When she’s with him, she gets a lot of attention from multiple sources and they do a lot of fun stuff together.

Remember my crackwhore cousin that ruined my life about 10 years ago?  Well, she lives out there too and LL hung out with her and her kids over the Summer as well and enjoys them. So even MY family is out there when she’s with her Dad. Plus my parents and brother are less than two hours away from them and always available for visits. My situation doesn’t have a chance in hell of changing anytime soon unless I move to Utah as well which by god I’d rather die than live in that horrible state again. Family or not! I can be there for her as much as possible as far as working at home and keeping her out of daycare, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re a 2 person family and that seems to be the problem. I wish I could have and do more for her in that regard but shit, I can’t even find a decent guy to date!  So until then who knows. I just want her to be happy and if that means me being (even more) alone then I would do it.

Well, more like 37 and 5 years. Jesus Freak finally went to the clink last Thursday so I guess that’s the end of that “relationship” lol….which I already knew was coming so it wasn’t a surprise and I had told him I just wanted to be friends anyway. I told myself I wasn’t going to write to him while he was in there but that’s because he had only expected to get 5-6 months. He had a new judge and a really tough prosecutor though and ended up with the 5 years in maximum security. So now I kinda feel bad for him. Well, one of his other “love interests” contacted me this past Monday and we have both decided to write to him (as friends just to support him.)

This is a girl that when he used to get mad at me or I would get mad at him he would go to her until things blew over and then he was back to calling me and wanting things to go further when she got mad at him. He used to play us against each other all the time because well, he’s a PLAYA! Well, now me and her have been talking since Monday and we REALLY like each other and get along well. We figured out through multiple conversations that we have way more in common than just him and we have both been dealing with his manic bullshit for a couple of years now. So it’s kinda funny how that turned out. What’s even weirder is that he lives in Denver but me and her are here in Fort Collins and so we’ve made plans to start hanging out. He would probably just die if he knew we were friends now. Either that, or be really turned on.