I can hear my neighbors whenever they have sex. I used to have a super annoying single guy living above me with a couple of kids. He’s the douchebag that used to get up at 7am every Saturday to motherfucking vacuum his entire house, and his kids were fucking hellions that made SO much noise I actually called the cops on them once when Sargent OCD left them home alone one night to terrorize my ceiling with their incessant stomping.
Well now there is a guy and his gf living upstairs and they have a ridiculously squeaky bed. Seriously, that thing must be circa Civil War with the noise that rusty bastard makes. It’s kinda comical actually….yet also annoying as hell at 2am. Even when they’re not screwing you can hear them step out of bed to get a drink of water or use the bathroom at night. It is THAT obvious.
One weekend the little lass and I stayed up to watch an Alfred Hitchcock movie marathon and it was a little after 11pm when the squeaking from above began. The little lass was like “Mom, what’s THAT?” I was like “maybe they spilled something and are cleaning the floors…LOL” ya, whatever mom genius.
Did I mention that when we went camping over Memorial Day our car got stuck in the middle of a road surrounded by an open range and we were forced to witness two cows getting fucked live and in person? The little lass kinda giggled at me and said “mom, this is highly inappropriate”….inappropriate INDEED! I said “ya, that’s what animal sex looks like in case you were wondering” and she said “oh ok that’s what I thought.” hahaha. What a special mother/daughter bonding moment that was, lemme tell ya. Lesson about the birds and the bees? Check.
They would NOT let my car pass by even though I was honking at them. It was kinda scary because they were just STARING at us with their empty children of the corn eyes like our asses were next. However it was also kind of cool because next to the cows were a field full of bison. I mean honestly, how often do you see bison these days? So that part was neat.
Anyway, the neighborly bed squeaking has been going on for a few months now but never for more than 3-4 minutes and NEVER more than once per week if that if you get what I’m getting at! (shoot me directly in the privates point blank if I am ever in a relationship like that ho my God) Homeboy is okay looking and seems to be younger….not gross or unfuckable in the least, I saw him taking the garbage out the other night and I had never seen him before, just “heard” him, but HA, I feel sorry for his gf. Or not….maybe she’s a sex hater and if so then she deserves it (or rather, the lack of it, wink wink side-eye.) I’m just guessing they’re gf/bf. Oh Jesus, say they’re not married! Although that would certainly explain quite a bit.
Wow…someone around here needs to get laid, canya tell? *shame* And I totally agree that some entries just should NOT be written. :) Too late, I already clicked “publish” after draft#1. So so sorry.
I went for a two-hour drive today up in the mountains. It was absolutely GORGEOUS up there….more perfect than a postcard. Since I took the little lass camping everything up there has bloomed and it was so green and pretty. About halfway through my drive is started to rain which just made it even prettier. If I had been wearing the right shoes I would have stopped and went for a little hike but I only had my $ Store flip-flops on.
Last year at this time I had grand plans to move to Arizona this Summer. Well ya, that ain’t gonna happen and I’m ok with staying here now. I really do feel like I finally belong here now. The only other place I think I could feel like I belong is back in Idaho or maybe Montana/Wyoming somewhere. But then as long as I’m here there is no reason to go to any of those other places except to visit. I don’t really like the condo I’m living in right now and I still want to get us into a house somehow but I do love this area. Moreso than I have in awhile anyway and to the little lass, this is her “hometown.” It’s the only place she remembers living at because we moved here when she was barely 2 years old. Wow, was she really that young? (talking to myself here and yes, she was, self! She was still in diapers anyway and barely old enough for daycare. My god does time fly by.)
I began re-reading a book I read a couple of years ago called “Peyton Amberg.” I can REALLY relate to the main character and even though I make it a point to never read a book twice, for some reason I don’t mind reading this one again. The story has been pulling up a lot of memories for me from my last marriage….stuff I haven’t thought about in awhile or dissected yet. Nothing bad really, just facts being played over again in my mind about how and why things began to go downhill for us. I was thinking about writing about some of them here in the coming days. Not a “poor me, look what I endured” type of entry, but more of a “ya, this is what happened” sort of thing. No reason to post it except that it’s a story I just happen to know about in detail because I lived it. I don’t know, we’ll see if I have the time.
Well actually I should have plenty of time because I only work 4 days this week. For the first time in 3 months I’ll have Saturday off, woo-hoo! However, that means I have to work a 10-hour day on Tuesday and maybe Wednesday as well if I want more overtime. The Tuesday overtime is required unfortunately…I pretty much wish I was working this Saturday because it will probably be slow anyway and what else am I going to do? I have absolutely no one to hang out with for the Fourth of July and zero plans or hopes of having any plans. My work just automatically decided I would have the day off and make up the lost hours the following week. It kinda bothers me that they did that without asking me first if I wanted to but oh well….I guess no one else had a choice either so I shouldn’t complain. Maybe I’ll go for another drive that day since it will be a 3-day weekend. I suppose I could go camping again (???) ……..that would be fun actually. Bison mounting bison, anyone?
I was such a slug today. I did absolutely NOTHING and it felt great! But why oh why did I waste 1 hour of my time watching “Bob the Butler” on Netflix? Seriously, that was a total waste of time. I was about an hour into it when I decided “why the fuck am I still watching this shit again?” I’m sorry, but Brooke Shields seriously annoys me. I HATED her on Lipstick Jungle. Actually, I hated Lipstick Jungle period. I only watched it because there was nothing else available at the time (so glad that shit eventually got canceled.)
So after that I watched “The Big Bad Swim.” Now THAT was a movie worth watching. I absolutely loved it, 5 stars and two-thumbs up! I also watched an episode of “This American Life” Season II. (I have netflix and these are movies I’m watching online btw.) The episode I watched was the one about “John Smith.” where they interviewed 4-5 men who were named John Smith from various age groups. It was a really interesting episode and I really enjoyed it. I subscribe to the “This American Life” podcast and listen to it on my walks sometimes. Not all of the episodes are interesting to me but I listen to probably 1 or 2 episodes per week. Which reminds me, I had downloaded a bunch of loveline podcasts as well but guess what? All of them were only 10 mins long and then they cut out. WTF is the point of that? Why even bother to podcast a freakin sample? I had downloaded over 200 episodes before I realized how short they were and then had to go through them all and delete.
I miss listening to my Lex and Terry podcasts. Now THOSE were enjoyable. Ya, I think I’ll shell out the money to resubscribe to that when I get paid on Friday.
I can’t wait to watch the new episode of True Blood tomorrow morning. No wait I just checked and it’s available to watch right now, SCORE! I LOVE THAT SHOW! <3 (I wanna be Maryann when I grow up.)
Also, if anyone has any movie or podcast suggestions for me let me know (especially if it’s something I can listen to or watch for free.) Back to the futon I go.
So I realize that not everyone was a fan of Michael Jackson and that not everyone cares that he died. If you are one of those people then feel free to click that little X up in the right hand corner and politely move on because I’m about to get sentimental here.
There seems to be a gaping crevice between age groups that determines whether or not an individual gives a fuck that he died or not. The “almost ready to retire” generation are too old to have appreciated his music when it was popular, and Generation “Y” who are too young to remember his glory days mainly recall his legal troubles only and that’s it. I’m too lazy to look right now but I read an article by someone about how the majority of people who are devastated over him dying belong to Generation “X.”
Hi, my name is pastlifecarthief and I’m a proud member of Generation “X”, nice to meet you!
And it’s true, the day Michael Jackson died I was at work when I read a post on Dlisted.com about him being admitted to a hospital because of cardiac arrest. This was shortly after reading the post on the same website about Farrah Fawsett’s death. I was seriously just about to twitter “omg, what if Farrah and MJ died on the same day, wouldn’t that be just mind blowingly horrible and tragic?” when I refreshed my browser to read that he had indeed been pronounced dead. I know it sounds silly but I immediately felt sick to my stomach upon hearing the news and my eyes uncontrollably filled with tears.
To me, the MJ that existed in my youth circa 1984 was a totally different person from the Michael Jackson that existed in the 1990’s and beyond. Maybe because I didn’t ever want to believe that my idol would do bad things and so I clung to fonder memories of him. Maybe I never really had enough “proof” to believe that he did all of those alleged bad things in the first place. Freaky plastic surgery or not, my Pisces heart always went out to him in a compassionate way. I suppose my brain compartmentalized his double personas as being separate and so when I heard of his death, I was reacting to the MJ I chose to remember and love as a pop music loving little girl with my first crush on a musical superstar back in Fourth Grade as opposed to the child molesting demon portrayed in the courtrooms on T.V. when I was older.
My parents had a JVC turntable with huge stereo speakers setup in our living room when I was young. My Dad wasn’t really into music that much but my mom had quite a collection of records that we kept organized in a cabinet below the stereo. Much of my childhood was spent listening to their cherished “crap” because hey, what else are you going to listen to when you’re 7 years old and have already spent all of your allowance on trashy barbie dolls? It wasn’t until I was 10 or 11 that my parents began letting me purchase my own music or offered to give it to me as gifts. I had my own stereo/cassette radio in my bedroom that I used to listen to hours and hours of radio pop music on but it wasn’t until my 10th birthday that I actually requested to receive a real live LP as a gift.
So ya, my first “album” was Thriller by Michael Jackson. I played the shit out of that thing. I LOVED every single track and immediately fell in love with the artist as well. My mom used to watch Entertainment Tonight religiously (something we enjoyed doing together until the day she died actually and is no doubt the #1 reason I still read gossip blogs and television shows to this day….one of my fav hobbies btw) and whenever Michael Jackson was featured she would yell to me from the family room that my “boyfriend” was on television. I remember being so excited because as far as musicians went, he was honestly my first “crush” and my mom liked him too so that gave us something in common to talk about.
I loved that album so much that my parents gave me the cassette version of “Thriller” for Christmas. Wow, what a year! This meant that I could play it in my room privately without anyone giving me shit about it (hi, my older brother!) Obviously, I don’t remember anything else that I received for Christmas that year except for that one amazingly spectacular gift.
Anyway, I know people are sick of hearing about him already and life will go on, but I just wanted to comment on this because it’s news that actually affected me for once. I STILL listen to songs from Thriller to this day and the little lass even has some MJ downloaded on her iPod that we added last year.
Verbally simplified; it’s weird to lose an icon from your childhood. It makes you feel somewhat vulnerable actually. Spiritually speaking I realize that it was his time to “go” and that at least he’s at peace now even if he really was the monster that did all of those terrible things. My belief is that everyone is here for a reason and I guess his reason was up and he had accomplished all that was needed to be done and so it was time for him to move on despite his fans not being equally “ready.”
I truly believe that his soul knew this information and that it of course was no accident. Yes, it was shocking to fans, the media etc….but no one truly leaves this Earth by surprise in my opinion. Regardless of your true thoughts about him, my GOD, did he leave an imprint on this Earth or what, eh? I mean honestly, how many of us can say that about ourselves? He influenced millions of people with his music. THAT was his gift despite the other stuff. The other stuff will be worked out on the “Other Side” is my own personal belief (yes, not YOUR belief but mine only, ok?)
I look forward to hearing what his kids have to say in the coming years. Now THAT will be interesting material regardless of the letter of your generation now won’t it?
For the record, here is my fav Michael Jackson song in the Universe and the way I’ll always remember him visually.
Happy Friday! (for me anyway.) Wow, today was a sucky day at work. We were so goddamn busy I barely had a voice at the end of the day and I kept mispronouncing words. I’m sure I sounded like a total idiot to some of the people that called. I hate days that are so busy you just want to cry because there are no breaks. On the other hand, it does make the day go by a bit faster. Actually, no it doesn’t…I was just trying to make myself feel better there.
I had a funny/weird incident with the neighborhood fox last night. I think he was stalking me wanting to play or something. I saw him about halfway through my walk and he was sitting in the middle of the street just looking at me. I looked back at him and made a point to walk WAAAAY around him so he wouldn’t think I was entering his “territory.” I mean, he is a wild animal and I’ve been attacked by dogs before and didn’t want to take any chances. I maintained eye contact (probably my first mistake lol) during the entire time I passed him. I made it around him and kept walking….a few steps later I turned around to see if he was still there and there he was RIGHT BEHIND ME!!! (aaaaahhhh!) He stopped when I turned around and so I starting going again, turned around, there he was behind me again and then the next time I did it he was gone. So I kinda scanned about trying to see where he was and he was behind a bush looking at me….I kept going on and suddenly he pounces past me like he’s going to “get” me, makes a sharp right turn right before he reaches me and proceeds to BARK! Yes! Foxes bark, did you know that? And it was a cute bark like “GOTCHA SUCKA!” (use a sneaky-sounding fox voice when you read that plz, it will amuse me) And then he pranced around in front of me and across the street to the other side running full speed ahead like his ass was on fire.
WTF? Was I being hunted or taunted? I have been wondering all day. I’ll probably take a walk in about an hour or so whence upon I’m sure I’ll see him again. I did a bunch of reading up on foxes last night when I got home because I’m a curious dork about foxes now. I guess foxes are rather common around here and probably in a lot of other places in the U.S. but where I grew up we NEVER saw foxes casually flitting about. Moose? yes…..foxes? No. I mean NEVER! I don’t think I’d ever even seen a real live fox until I moved here now that I think about it.
After the fox incident I walked into a drunken teen street “party.” Meaning, there were about 8-10 teenagers outside drinking and being loud and obnoxious. I guess they could have been older than teenagers but ya, they were pretty young and there was some serious “The Hills” shit going down when I walked by. One girl who looked like she was probably the host was screaming to some other girls down the street “I DID NOT INVITE THAT BITCH AND THERE SHE IS IN MY HOUSE DRINK’IN MAH BEERS!” haha. Then a bunch of people got into a car and sped off. I did my best to look invisible as hell when I walked by because I did NOT want to randomly be involved in some sort of random drunken catfight. Not that that was even a plausible scenario considering I was a total stranger walking by but damn, that is just the type of stupid shit that would happen to me so I wanted to avoid any possible confrontation at all costs. I should have walked my ass home and called the cops on them for being so rowdy. (!!!)
It’s beginning to get really hot here. Today I had the a/c on but it wasn’t helping at all because the only a/c unit is in the front room and I work in my bedroom. I put up another fan in my room to help the air flow but it’s so freakin loud I can barely hear customers when I’m on the phone. I’m not sure wtf I’m going to do when it gets even hotter because today it was only in the 80’s and normally it gets up to 90-100 during the Summer. I wonder if I should move my office? Actually, I can’t do that because the a/c unit in the other room is even louder than a regular fan. I was thinking of getting a small clip-on desk fan but I’m not sure if that will be enough. Yes, it would be quiet enough probably, but I doubt it would keep me very cool. Wow, isn’t this a fascinationg subject? Seriously, this is the shit I worry about. Now you know why this blog is so not popular!
I miss my little lass! Ugh, there I said it. But I really really do. It gets so lonely here when she’s not home. I do appreciate having some time to myself but there are times when I just want someone to talk to about stupid stuff. Like when one of our cats surprisingly asks for a french fry or when I shockingly find a gigantic spider in the bathtub or a stupid fucking ugly moth in my cup of coffee.
I miss just having someone around to share things with I guess. It feels like I live in a vacuum sometimes. I suppose that me being alone is part of some grander “lesson” I am supposed to learn? (hi self, thanks for the spiritual counseling miss genius) That is the only reason I can come up with anyway. If you were to gaze down upon my life from a higher perspective my complaints would look rather ridiculous I’m sure. I have been around other people all my life and only truly “alone” for 3-4 years. What is 3-4 years in the grand scheme of things? Not much really but it seems like an eternity sometimes. Thank god I have my three cat friends or who knows how bad off I’d be? (rhetorical question dammit!)
I just got back from a walk and it was really nice. The weather is still so mild here I have to wear a sweatshirt when I go outside. Well, I don’t have to but I do get cold when I don’t. I have been doing about 3 miles per night which is a little less than my goal but the neighborhood is only so big I reckon.
I wish I had a nice camera that took awesome pictures though….night vision etc. because I see some really cool things sometimes during my walks. (I get off of work at 10pm usually, sometimes later depending on the day and so I walk VERY late at night, and yes…it’s a safe neighborhood and I’m not worried about my safety in the least.) For instance, I see a gigantic poster of Tupac lit up from behind with strobe lights while passing by someone’s curtainless bedroom window every night. HA! don’t be a jealus h8tr! Who’s the lonely one now :) ?
I don’t know if anyone remembers me writing about it but I used to write about a fox that would follow me on my walks a couple of Summers ago….don’t know if it’s the same fox obviously but I do still have one following me…, it never fails, I see that bastard EVERY night at some point no matter what…not to mention the multitude of household cats that say “hi” to me around the neighborhood. They always look so cheerful like “gotdamn it’s good to finally be outside you stupid humans!”
When the little lass was here we used to play this game where we would count how many people were watching t.v. in their houses as we walked by. This was before I had this job so we walked much earlier but it was still late evening or dark because it was Spring…anyway, we each got one point for every t.v. we spotted and we got two points if we could tell which program they were watching. It was a challenging game lol, seriously….we would almost always tie until the last 20 mins or so of the walk because that last 20 mins was us walking by a huge apartment complex and there were so many t.v.’s on we would be shouting them out left and right in hopes of winning. And yes, I used to let her win because I’m taller and I could naturally spot more t.v.’s than her so it really wasn’t fair.
Other than that, I found out today that I am actually good at something more than being a paranormal freak of nature. I had a visit with my boss and he says that I am #1 among all his other employees for having high scores (we get scored on the calls that we take and the claims that we file.) I was pretty surprised to learn this as I thought I was just barely skating by but apparently I’m doing really well. WTF? I don’t even want to question it for fear it will go away…you say I am #1? Well ok then, I’ll be #1 and milk it to the end dammit! Seriously though, this was sort of shocking to me but it also gives me something to live up to I guess…..not that there’s a huge reward for being #1 besides maybe some sort of promotion down the line….I don’t know, we’ll see. But it did make me feel good even if it’s only temporary. I told him I would like to work in the training dept. at some point because I did it last week for some new hires and it was really fun. He said they were thinking of creating some new positions in that dept. so it may be a possibility for me. I hope so cuz mama needs something new in her life at the moment for distraction purposes. But ya, we’ll see what happens. *shrug*
A couple of weeks ago I purchased a steam mop. Yes, a steam mop from an infomercial that was playing in the background on the TV with captions on while I was at work one afternoon. I just had to have it because I have been wanting a steam cleaner for the carpet and this does carpet, hard flooring plus countertops/bathrooms as well..WHO WOULD NOT WANT THAT?!
It arrived last Friday but today was the first day I had time to put it together and use it and damn, it works pretty well! It took me awhile to figure out HOW to use it after going over the instructions a few times and experimenting but I think I’ve got it now. I spent all afternoon cleaning and I hate to admit it, but it was kinda fun (thanks to the mop only of course otherwise cleaning the house can fuck off forever times infinity!)
I’m sitting here in the front room relaxing now and I see that the birds are trying to have sex again. Or are they? Okay, as I’m typing this out it appears that Blueballs is on top of Willista but it could also be that they are just trying to look at themselves in the mirror. Those birds LOVE looking at themselves in the mirror, love love love it….in fact, I have witnessed both of them doing it for hours and hours at a time when I used to have the mirror conveniently located near their main perch. They used to even fight over taking turns in front of it. After a few months of that I moved it to another perch and they did the same thing….I moved it again, same thing, you get the idea. Well, the last place I moved it to was the ceiling of their cage. Take THAT you vain motherfuckers! However, they STILL find ways to look in that goddamn mirror which is why it must appear that they are jumping each others bones right now but are really just taking turns admiring themselves by hopping on to the top of the cage while upside down. Rather innovative of them actually (and truly hilarious to watch.)
I don’t know if I mentioned it here or not but shortly after the little lass went to her Dad’s for the Summer, her bicycle, scooter AND skateboard were stolen from our front porch. Stolen while I was at home actually which pisses me off even more. I have never felt unsafe living here but I kinda do now. Well anyway, I broke the news to the little lass and she was upset about it but not surprised. About a year ago someone else took her bike for a joyride and left it out in the parking lot where we discovered it the next morning. I told her we would buy another scooter for her when she came home after Summer because to be honest, she never really rode that bike very much. Mostly because the seat on that bike had a hard time staying up. It’s an adjustable seat that we would forever adjust and re-adjust whenever she rode it which was annoying as hell for both of us.
Friday night I went for a walk after work. On the way out I remembered that I haven’t checked the mail for probably 6-7 days. The little lass used to check it for me every day after she came home from school but since she’s been gone I just spaced out about it. So…on the way to the mailbox I turn the corner and guess what is propped up against the lamp post in the courtyard?
LL’s BIKE!
WTF?
I have no idea how long it’s been there but there it was. I waited until later that night to go get it because I didn’t want anyone thinking that *I* was stealing it. I called LL over the weekend to tell her and she just started cracking up laughing and I asked her why it was funny and that I thought she’d be happy to hear that she got her bike back and she said “I’m laughing because the thieves probably “returned” it because the seat doesn’t work!”
Homegirl makes a good point. I wonder where the fuck her scooter ended up (?)
I went to the doctor this morning for my yearly “checkup” because I have insurance again and guess what I found out? I’m actually 5′9 and not 5′8 like I always thought. Is it possible that I’ve grown in the past 10 years? Because seriously, I was pretty sure I was 5′8 this whole time. I reached about 5′7 in high school and gained an inch from there but I had no idea I had climbed to 5′9. The things you learn about yourself, eh? I HATED being tall as a kid but I like it now that I’m older (and getting taller apparently lol)
The weather has been rainy here for the past couple of weeks and I sure do love it. I have been going for walks at night after work in a nearby neighborhood and it’s so nice and peaceful with the full moon waxing and the cool misty air. I wish it would stay this way all Summer actually. Well, for at least another month or so. It doesn’t feel like Summer at all actually, I think I am in complete denial that we’ve entered the month of June. Can you believe this year is already half over? That is just crazy to me.
I’ve been working on school again. For awhile there I wasn’t reading or taking any courses but since the little lass has been gone I’ve gone back to it and completed quite a few courses. I have about nine more left until I have my bachelors. I am really excited about that and hope to finish all the courses I need by the end of this Summer which should be possible since I have nothing else to do really. It feels good to accomplish something. I am always feeling too busy to get things done so when I do it’s a big thing for me.
In fact, I haven’t really accomplished much in my life that you can put a title or name to. I mean honestly, what have I done with my life besides become a mom and a two time divorcee lol. I’m not being hard on myself btw, it’s just a simple fact. I was watching an episode of intervention the other night and it was about this girl that was a crack addict. They always go over what type of person the addict was before they became an addict and this girl had some serious accomplishments behind her. Being a white house intern, winning a bunch of awards for various sports, music and a full scholarship to a prestigious university (was #1 at being a crack addict too!) I have never had that type of drive to accomplish things like that. Maybe when I was younger a little more than now but I never knew where to direct those desires. I never had anything that was truly “my thing.” I played piano and violin but I wasn’t hugely great at either of those things. I have never been #1 at anything except for maybe spelling lol. Every job I’ve had has been just a job and I never excelled to the top of any of them. Well, maybe one of them but it was more by default and not because I tried or truly desired it. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about lately as I have ran into a lot of accomplished people lately and it makes me feel somewhat inadequate.
The only thing I’m good at is this metaphysical/spiritual stuff if I had to pick something. So finishing school is important to me because of that because it will allow me to have a “title” of accomplishment I suppose and since that is something I have never had maybe it would do me good and get me to accomplish more. But then what after that? This is stuff younger people usually think about and not a 35 year old woman but things panned out for me quite differently than most. My younger years were not fun and did not allow me to have the time to think about such subjects. I wasted a lot of years doing a lot of nothing and I’m not sure why.
Sorry, I have no idea where this is going it just kind of schpeeled out of me. Maybe even the accomplished people don’t think they are accomplished, or not accomplished enough, do you think so? I have to wonder.
How was your Memorial Day? Well surprisingly, mine was pretty darn good this year. I finally got off my ass and went and did something outdoors! My normal days off are Sunday and Monday so I didn’t have to work (need to rethink that now because duh, that means I will never have a 3 day weekend again because of a Holiday. WTF was I thinking when I picked those days off, eh? Whoah is me.)
The bright idea came to me on Friday that the little lass and I should go camping. She was SUPER excited about that idea as well so we decided we would. I get off of work at 8pm on Saturdays (I work Saturdays because they pay me an extra $1/hour to do so) so we went shopping that evening for groceries and packed as much stuff up as we could. I actually keep all of my camping stuff in the trunk of my car (I have a HUGE trunk) which is kind of nice because it’s always just “there” if you need it which means I don’t have to search around the house collecting tents and sleeping bags.
We left early Sunday morning for the mountains and we camped at the same spot I camped at last Summer when I took my 4 day solo camping trip. The camp sits at about 10,000 feet which means it was rainy and sort of cold but it was beautiful! We had a few other campers around us but none of them were too obnoxious. Well, I take that back, one of the camper trailers near us kept using their chainsaw throughout the day to cut firewood. They also had 6 dogs (yayaya, don’t get me started.) They were just far enough away not to piss me off too much, but they were a bit annoying.
The little lass and I went for a nice little hike Sunday evening and found a cute little runoff spring that we hung around for awhile. We also had a nice stream next to our camp so the sound of running water was everywhere. Being that we are both water signs, you can imagine how much we appreciated that. All in all, it was a very nice and relaxing trip.
Until Sunday night. The little lass had been coughing the past few days and her coughing just got worse and worse as the night went on. By the middle of the night, she was full blown sick. By the time we were heading home the next day she had a fever and was absolutely miserable. I felt so bad for her! She was crying because she didn’t want to “ruin” our trip by being sick. It pretty much rained the entire drive home and she just slept in the car most of the way. We got home around 4pm, got cleaned up and watched movies the rest of the evening. The little lass continued to feel worse and she ended up staying home from school on both Tuesday and half a day on Wednesday. Tomorrow is her last day of school. Her Dad is coming to pick her up for the Summer tonight so I’m glad we at least attempted the camping trip but guess who’s sick now? I have been downing Emergen-C like crazy ever since we came home from camping and I don’t feel near as bad as the little lass must have, but I am feeling pretty yucky today. I hope I can work my shift today without feeling too crappy but we’ll see. I can’t even think about the little lass being gone at this point. The thought of it makes me feel sick on the inside as I will miss her SO much like I do every year at this time of course.
I am having a very difficult time with my new work schedule. I work from 1-10pm. My other choice of a schedule was a split shift that runs from 6am-10am and then again from 6pm-10pm. I considered that shift at first because either way I would have to get someone to either take the little lass to school or have them pick her up. I was hesitant about doing a split shift because I am NOT a morning person and going to bed at 10 and then getting up again at 6am seemed a little too much for me. Plus, I had doubts about finding someone that would enjoy getting up at 7am to take the little lass to school. So I ended up going for the later shift because I like to go to the gym in the mid-mornings and that way I could take her to school myself. I hired a girl from C@re.com to pick up the little lass from school 4 days a week and it has worked out really well so far…WAY cheaper than having her former daycare pick her up for me, as in about $75 less per week.
But damn, this late schedule is killing me! My body needs to seriously adjust to this somehow because after I get off of work at 10pm I am WIRED. Even after a hard day there is no way I can go straight to sleep. So I stay up until midnight, sometimes 1am watching t.v. or reading. Then, when it’s time to get up at 7am to get the little lass to school I am exhausted. I am the type of person that requires at LEAST 8 hours of sleep or more. I have always been that way since I was a little kid. I am mean as hell when I haven’t had enough sleep. My original plan was that 6 or 7 hours of sleep would just have to be enough but after dropping her off from school sometimes I just collapse back into bed and sleep for another two hours. Sometimes, as in TODAY!
I missed my chance to go grocery shopping and to the gym because of this and it’s frustrating. It just seems there are truly not enough hours in the day. However yesterday, I stayed up after taking her to school, ran a bunch of errands, went to the gym, cleaned up the house a little, took the garbage out, did some readings, worked my 8-hour shift etc….and I felt fine but then maybe that’s why I was so tired this morning because I overdid it yesterday. Who knows.
The little lass’s last day of school is a week from today and so she will be gone for the Summer. That will improve things somewhat because I’ll be able to sleep straight through to 9am at least. I hope that’s enough! I feel like a freakin slug right now for sleeping so much but I was absolutely exhausted this morning. Nothing short of a fire alarm would have gotten my ass up. I’m hoping it’s slow at work today because of the holiday. Yesterday was pretty intense and busy and I need a s-l-o-w day. Plus, it’s raining outside and that would just make my day if I could relax a bit.
I just woke up from the most awful dream. I dreamed that I had grown a second row of teeth on the bottom. Ugh, it was SO GROSS! And I was asking the little lass if she remembered noticing that I had 2 rows of teeth before and she said no. So then I start fiddling with the back row of teeth and they start coming out. I pulled out all of the loose ones and was left with just one sparse row of 4 crooked teeth in the front. I also remember saying in my dream “is this a dream?” And the little lass said “no” haha.
Shit goddamn yo, is that a hint that I need to see the dentist? I do have dental insurance now that is effective next week so maybe I will.
Speaking of health, I don’t think I wrote about it here but my Stepmom was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of months ago. My mom died of breast cancer when I was 14 so you can imagine how hard this is for my Dad to go through again. Well, she had her first few doses of chemo and I guess she had a horrible allergic reaction to one of the drugs and hasn’t been doing very well. They removed the cancer in her breast with surgery but are doing chemo as a follow-up and so far not so good. I feel bad for her and especially my Dad having to go through this because it was supposed to be an easy thing to clear up since they caught it early but apparently it’s not going so well. She has other health problems with her pancreas and the two combined are making her very sick and weak. The little lass was supposed to visit them this Summer before going to her dad’s house but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happe now…at least not for a few more months if at all this year.
There are other things here I haven’t written about lately I suppose. My love life for one….well, I haven’t written about that because there hasn’t been much of one and also because I don’t want to curse anything. It seems that every time I write about a guy I like here I end up having to write about how he dumped me a few weeks/months later. So yes, there have been a few fellows that have come along in the past year but I don’t really want to say anything about any of them yet. I know that’s boring and all, but maybe in a few months I’ll feel differently. Who knows.
And one more thing I haven’t written about here either now that I think about it. (Why can’t I remember my past entries! lol) I met my half sister on myspace last Fall and we have been talking. We haven’t told our Mom yet because she is still living with her, but we’ve been sporadically keeping in touch. She graduates from HS in a few weeks and will be moving to go to college so maybe we will talk more then. Either way, it’s pretty cool to have met her as we seem to have quite a few little things in common.
Alright, time to brush my 4 teefs and get ready to go to the gym. Laterz!
The little lass wrote that for me for Mother’s Day (awwwww.) She also made me 2 bars of soap….they are those cool scented-gel soaps you can get kits for at the craft store in the shape of a ladybug and a dragonfly, very cute! So cute I don’t want to use them actually.
So my training is over and I’ve been working at home for almost 2 weeks now. So far I like the job but it has been difficult to go back to a solid 8-hour day. My shift is from 1pm-10pm and now I’m sort of wishing I had taken the morning shift but it’s too late now. But it’s also nice to be able to sleep in whenever I want, like today! The little lass is sick with a cold and of course I’m getting it now too and so I slept in until 10am. I will be heading to the grocery store in awhile to get us some “sick supplies.” In fact, I need to get ready now and go or I will be late for my shift. Laterz!
I got a new job a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been in training. This one is a full-time work at home job but I have to drive to a nearby city for training for 3-4 weeks before I start. Thus, I have been very busy and haven’t been around much. This is a job I applied for back in Feb. and it took me about 6 interviews to get my foot in the door. I am REALLY glad I made it though because the pay is good and I get full medical benefits immediately which I haven’t had for a long time.
In between waiting for the results of the background check/drug test I quit my job at the big yellow tag company and started doing readings again. The big yellow tag company said I was not re-hirable because I couldn’t give them a full 2 weeks notice and I had planned on working my last week and a half with them (which was what I COULD give them because the training class started on a certain date which was less than 2 weeks away when I was hired) but then I figured that I could make more money doing readings than wasting my time with a company that would never rehire me and so I quit early and did just that. Yes, doing readings in the past has not been as lucrative as I wanted it to be because it’s inconsistent but for whatever reason this must be a busy time of year because I was doing them left and right and made double what I would have if I had finished that last week out. It’s nice to know that I can always have that as a backup if times gets tough or I have another car breakdown etc…..my faith in my ability as a reader has also been somewhat renewed because I received a lot of nice feedback from the readings I did do so that felt nice. I feel like there is a clearer balance now because I don’t have to depend on that as my only income but it is there as a side thing I can do when I’m in the mood and can handle all the emotions that come with and will provide me with extra cash.
Anyway, my training is in a nearby city (about 45 mins each way) and I have to get up at 5am every day to make it there which means I should be getting ready right about now (we’re supposedly getting a massive snow storm today.) I will try to update more when I’m finally working at home again. Laterz!
So I stayed home all day Friday and Saturday because I thought my car didn’t work, right? I had to work both days so I figured I’d have it towed on Sunday or Monday and have it fixed then. Well, ex#1 made a surprise trip out here to visit the little lass Saturday afternoon while I was on my break at work. I gave him the car keys so he could test it out himself and whatddya know, it started right up. He took it to a garage for me but they said they couldn’t work on Fuel pumps because they were attached to the mall.
Say what?
Apparently this is true because I called them myself out of disbelief just to see. It has something to do with insurance liability etc….fuel pumps might blow up and so may dickhead suburban teenagers and/or 80 year old indoor speedwalkers. The risk was too great! (i.e. I filled up the gas tank, got an oil change and called it good. It has ran just fine ever since and that includes a 6-hour road trip to Wyoming last weekend.)
I started writing this entry weeks ago. Obviously I have been slacking again. The little lass is at her Dad’s for Spring Break (hence the Wyoming trip to make the exchange) and the weather has been so nice. I started going back to the gym again last Monday as well so I have been feeling really good and positive lately. Besides that nothing much has changed except that I have vehemently decided that I really want to finish school and so I am looking for a full-time job now.
A “normal” full-time job. I am looking for either something at home or something in town….at this point I don’t really care. I have decided that doing readings full-time just isn’t my ultimate destiny and that I’d rather be writing books or conducting workshops regarding the psychic/metaphysical stuff. This has been a hard decision because a part of me looks upon it as a failure. Did I fail at doing what I thought was my life’s work full-time? Well yes and no I guess. I think a better way to explain it would be to say that my focus has simply changed. Instead of helping people with day to day issues like “did so and so check my myspace page today?” (ya the important things in life lol) or “does he/she still think about me?”
To be perfectly honest those types of questions both annoy and drain me. Sometimes I end up thinking about clients days and months later after I have spoken or written to them with advice….wondering if I said the right thing, wondering if I gave them the right answer or direction. It has been really stressful for me because I take their problems upon myself as if they were my own a lot of the time. I am afraid that if I continue on this path I will end up neglecting myself and my own emotional needs.
I realize now that I would rather inspire a large group of people through written word than on a one to one basis. I have always loved to write and I’ve always wanted to write a book. It would just fit my personality better. Getting a metaphysical book published is difficult though. You really need to have some sort of credentials to make it happen.
Basically this goes back to what I said before…I need to get my degree and THEN start writing books. But until then I will need a job to pay the bills and right now that job needs to be not a “soul-sucking” job. (I am still keeping my askpisces website and doing channeled e-mail readings, just not the phone/chat readings for now so you can visit me there if you’d like that type of reading.)
Anyway, I used my tax return to pay off all my bills for the next couple of months so I’m not in a rush…rent and bills are paid until Summer which is nice because I’d really like to take my time to find a job that will really suit me this time. Yes the economy sucks right now but I have faith that I’ll find something. Until then I’m still working part-time for the big yellow tag company who just recently made me a permanent employee.
The little lass and I went for a drive yesterday afternoon through the mountains. It was windy outside but a very clear and beautiful day. We arrived home around sunset and my GOD it was good to get out of the house. Unfortunately, when I got up to take her to school this morning the car was dead. For once the battery works, but no starty start. My best educated guess is that it’s the motherfucking fuel pump. I’m pretty sure I used my last AAA “visit” when I locked the keys in my car last year so guess who will be paying for a tow?
The last entry I wrote concerning some of the T.V. shows I regularly watch reminded me of a funny misunderstanding between the little lass and I a couple of months ago. Right now we don’t subscribe to cable. We get analog channels only and up until last week that meant two versions of Fox. One from Denver, the other from Cheyenne. We live in the basement apartment of a large condo building with horrible t.v. reception. There is no NBC, ABC nor CBS in our meager world unless it’s available to view for free online (hola surfthechannel.com, I <3 you!)
But since the DTV conversion we only get one version of Fox. Cheyenne ceased analog transmission last week and of course that was the “good” Fox Channel, meaning it was the station that broadcast Seinfeld and the Simpsons at 5pm sharp instead of 6pm. After that they broadcast King of the Hill and Family Guy. I have to admit, I am not a huge fan of Family Guy….sorry yes I know that this is not a favorable position amongst my peers but it’s true. I think FG is crass and often crosses the line. HOWEVER, my ex #1 has allowed the little lass to watch it since she was 6 years old and so she thinks nothing of it when it’s on nor gets the “jokes.” Perhaps this is where bad parenting comes in on my part but I have allowed her to continue to watch this show only because it’s what’s on during dinner making time and well shit goddamn, the damage has already been done now hasn’t? (Nevermind, don’t answer that. *sheepish grin*)
I admit, there are a few episodes of FG that I have enjoyed but in general it’s just not my type of humor. I honestly think it goes too far. That said, we don’t get the fucking Cheyenne station anymore and so now I kinda miss it. I miss that they broadcast reruns of Friends every evening at 9pm even though I never watched Friends the first time around. In fact, I’m ashamed as hell to even admit I even like Friends but I kinda began to “get it” after watching it day after day and got sucked in.
Hey now, is that why they call it “programming?”
Our other option at 9pm was to watch the Denver nightly news and holy shit did that get depressing fairly quickly! The little lass jokes that it’s the Nightly “DEPRESSION.” And she’s totally right, it’s just one fucked up story after another most of the time so ya, shoot me in the head but I’d rather watch reruns of “Friends” because laughing is always preferable to crying in my World.
So the misunderstanding occurred one evening when we were anticipating watching the show “Fringe.” Hell, I gave this show a fair chance but if you interview me now about it’s quality I would say it’s sorely lacking and we have stopped watching it since (the Dads fake accent just KILLS ME and omg Olivia is an annoyingly dumbass freckled bitch!) But I wanted to like this show, really I did and I watched every episode hoping it would suck me in like the first few episodes of “X-Files” or “Lost” did but it just never happened. Perhaps I’m not geeky enough to fully appreciate it? I don’t know but I stand by my evaluation.
However I digress so back to the story…the funny event happened when Fringe was still in it’s early episodes and we watched it every week. This particular evening at around 7:30 p.m. the little lass said, “I can’t wait to watch Fringe at 8pm.” I replied “Honey, “Friends” doesn’t start until 9:00pm.” The little lass gives me a puzzled look and says “Mom, it starts at 8pm like it always does, what are you talking about?” And I say “Fringe is on at 8pm, not Friends” and she says “I said Fringe!” and I said, “No, I thought you said Friends!!!” LOL we both finally “got it” at the same time, looked at each other and started cracking up. We have made fun of the similarity between those two words ever since. For instance, whenever she mentions her “friends” at school I stop her and say “don’t you mean Fringe?” I swear that joke will NEVER DIE!
I finally got my tax return and I think I’m going to buy a DTV booster antenna so we can watch the Cheyenne station again. We already have the stupid converter box but it doesn’t pick up any stations due to our lowly basement status. Seriously, we really miss the “good” Fox station and yes we are lame. It’s a good thang I work part-time for that giant yellow tag company, eh?
My big ‘ole grand 35th birthday celebration without celebrities sucked btw but more on that later…
I just finished watching 4 episodes of that show “True Beauty” on Tudou! Yes, I watch pirated t.v. shows and movies online on a regular basis and I only feel semi-guilty about it (!)
I’m not sure what sucked me in besides having absolutely nothing left to watch. Ex#1 came to pick up the little lass on Saturday and so I’ve been alone all weekend. I work weekends but my afternoons and evenings were free so I attempted to watch everything seemingly interesting on surfthechannel.com. I blew through so many episodes of “The Big Bang Theory” you would be astonished. Btw, that is my new favorite show…LOVE IT! I have always had a major crush on Johnny Galecki since the days of Roseanne and I love his character in this show even more. CBS has some good shows going on if only they’d jump the Hulu bandwagon I’d be even more impressed. (How I met your Mother is my other fav.)
Speaking of Hulu, the little lass and I have been watching 30 Rock together….well, the “age appropriate” episodes anyway. She freakin LOVES Tina Fey’s character as much as I do and we laugh so hard when we watch it. We played charades the other day and all of her character impersonations were from the Office or 30 Rock lol. It was hilarious and she impersonates them DEAD on. We also enjoy impersonating the families on Family Feud (shame.)
Besides watching sickening amounts of television/movies I have been busy working on translating my mom’s journal to the “intarwebs.” She wrote in this particular journal from Jan. 1st, 1981- November of 1988 (?) I believe? She died in Feb. of 1988 and my Dad and Aunt were the ones who wrote her last few months. I am trying hard not to skip ahead and just transcribe it as it occurred. I am still in Jan. of 1981 lol so ya, I have a ton of work to do but it’s been fun “re-living” it. It kinda amazes how much stuff I remember from her entries. I mean, I can remember in almost exact detail many of the days she wrote about and what happened etc….is that normal? Her journal covered me personally from age 6-14 and so far I’m still reading about myself being in First Grade. I am hoping to have the entire journal transcribed by the end of 2009 as a Christmas present for my Dad and brother.
I am supposedly getting my tax refund direct deposited into my account today. I checked my bank account at midnight and it wasn’t there but hopefully it will show up after 3pm. I really need to go shopping and was looking forward to paying off some outstanding bills. Besides upgrading my two dead computers to linux, I wanted to maybe buy a new electronic piano for me and the little lass to play with…..I also promised to buy her an iTunes gift card. The only other thing she wanted were some new shoes but her Dad bought those for her this weekend apparently.
Oh yes, and her Dad brought her Wii with him to town and said we could keep it here until Summer. Guitar Hero stardom HERE I COME! We also have rock band and a few other games I can’t wait to sink my teeth into. This WILL be a fun week dammit Plus, I turn 35 on Friday.
On the way home from picking up the little lass from school today she was rummaging through her backpack when suddenly she found a strange piece of paper in the front pocket. It was a poorly constructed piece of lined paper in the shape of a heart with no name or note attached. You can tell it was a boy that cut it out though because a girl never would have done it that sloppy. We think it’s either from this boy that has totally been in love with her since they began going to the same daycare at age 2, or this little Mexican boy that barely speaks English who has drawn her several pictures over the past few months. Some of the pics he’s drawn have been really bizarre and some of them not so nice but he doesn’t act mean to her otherwise so I’m wondering if he really likes her. Y’know how little boys act out when they like someone, well hey some of the older ones do too!
Anyway, there is a pencil smudge with a fingerprint on it. Where’s the detective kit when you need it, eh? I think we’ll probably have a better clue as to who it is after they pass out Valentines this Friday. I hope it’s from a third boy whom she REALLY likes. That would be awesome and make her so happy. One of her best friends is in love with this boy but he chooses to hang out with the little lass. The little lass hasn’t told anyone but me that she likes him but the other little girl has told everyone and their dog. This is probably why he chooses my daughter over the other girl. He is a quiet, shy boy and he won’t tell anyone who he likes. I warned the little lass to never tell the other girl she likes him too or she will never want to have another female friend again lol. Ugh, can you believe that shit starts this young? tisk tisk
